Next find out if anything bad is going on at the mother's home (drugs, partying, etc) so you can report her to child services and your bf can sue for custody. Sounds like the two of you would make better parents than the trash the poor child is stuck living with.
Is your boyfriend willing to do anything about the situation? Does he want physical custody of his daughter? If so, he needs to document, document, document everything - every time he has sent her with new clothes that disappear, every time she says she has spent the week elsewhere, and with who, every time she misses a day of school, etc.
The point of a parent having physical custody as her mother does now is to physically raise the child day-to-day. If she's not doing that, the court needs to know.
He needs to talk to his lawyer about what it would take to get his child in his care more permanently so that it's mom she goes to visit and him she comes home to the majority of the time.
Butt out
At this point in time, you've never had a child of your own, so the fact that you feel not only capable to give advice, but entitled to give advice is absurd. You're just this guy's current girlfriend, so butt out.
Not everyone's nice,sounds like the mum's a cow. Like you said,the law sides with the mum. Advice: I reckon you gotta just bite the bullet & take it,keep your own standards high & don't get into a slagging match or back stabbing. Show your superiority by rising above it. He's with you & not with her for a reason,which seems quite apparent.
Best of luck.
My fiancé has a 8 year old daughter and a ex wife, she has another child and another baby daddy, he never has missed a child support payment and spends as much as he can with his daughter, yet his ex does whatever she can to make the situation bad, calls him a bad father when he can't take her cause he's working, she doesn't, but usually pawns the child off on her parents or grandparent. Sometimes his daughter tells us that she spent the whole week somewhere else, when we pick her up she's usually not wearing good clothes, but every time she wears clothes home the " get lost" and we never see them again, but with laws always being in the mothers favor how, can it ever be fair? I feel bad I hate to see a child have a bad life when there's a good one with their parent that's available but can't happen cause momma needs her check to get her hair done and tan on... Sad, any ideas?
